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From an email received 5 April 2018.
The Lamb, Swanley Village. (Farningham)
The pub I learnt to drink in. Just at the top of the lane down to
where we lived. Ernie Chilmaid had the tenancy. He kept a fine pint of
Courage Dark Mild but I preferred the Ordinary Bitter.
It was a beer house only which caused confusion amongst strangers. "A
pint of bitter please and a gin and tonic for my wife." "Sorry sir, no
spirits, we only sell beer." "Oh, I'll have a glass of white wine then."
"Sorry sir, no wine, we only sell beer. We do have a Babycham if the
lady would like that."
A range of different barstaff.
The desk-sergeant at Swanley Police Station's wife, a very large
woman with make-up trowelled onto her face and whose feet swelled
alarmingly out of the strappy shoes she always wore.
Mike Sutton, who had no driving licence but would drive his tractor
over from the 'farm' in Wilmington where he lived. When pissed he would
wedge himself into the corner of the bar and benevolently gaze over the
assembled company with the most maniacal grin on his face. A genius at
spoof.
Bill Cook, the driver of the 719 Green Line Bus from Wrotham to Hemel
Hempstead. One snowy night he left the pub late to walk back to Swanley
where he lived. Waking early in the morning he realised he'd lost his
glasses and followed his own footsteps back towards the village. Every
so often there was an area of crumpled snow where he'd fallen over and
there, in the middle of one such patch, were his glasses.
Ernie Chilmaid himself. Very favoured customers (my mother was one)
would, after the pub had closed at night, be offered a tot of his own
personal whisky. He could also spin a good yarn (see Barty Hotchkiss'
story of Ernie Chilmaid's Chain Beer).
ERNIE CHILLMAID'S CHAIN BEER.
Sir Tim Bligh took over the Priory Swanley Village, which had been
his father Sir Edward Bligh’s house round about 1960. Sir Edward and
Miss Hall his house keeper moved to Holmesdale in Horton Kirby opposite
the Rogers at Court Lodge.
Once he lived in The Priory, one of the first things Sir Tim Bligh
did, no doubt exercising authority as Macmillan’s Private Secretary, was
to pull rank on the Swanley Town Council and persuade them to change the
name of the lane running past his property from the name Tweed Hill to
Park Lane. Hence his address became The Priory, Park Lane. The Swanley
Village people didn’t know whether this was some kind of a joke or an
attempt to flatter the circumstances of his address. Some local people
were annoyed particularly Ernie Chillmaid who owned The Lamb pub
opposite the Priory.
One thing Tim Bligh couldn’t do was to change the popularity of The
Lamb. This I am sure he would liked to have done since the weekend cars
parked in front of the entrance to The Priory whilst their owners were
merrily imbibing in The Lamb must have given rise to a certain amount of
annoyance.
The Lamb had been in the Chillmaid family for more than one hundred
years. It was a beer house. It was not licensed to dispense wines and
spirits. This meant of course the beer had to be in excellent condition.
If the beer was bad no customers would bother to come to the Lamb since
there was no alternative drinking. Ernie Chillmaid knew how to look
after his beer. He took great pride in his cellar work. His draught
beer, straight from the barrel, had a reputation among discerning
boozers for being the best draught beer in the locality. Hence, no doubt
much to the annoyance of Sir Tim, The Lamb was a very popular pub.
One summer evening two students discovered The Lamb. They were from
the Rose Bruford College in Sidcup. They had caught a 21 Bus to the top
of Button Street walked through Farningham Woods and were passing
through Swanley Village on their way to Swanley where they were to catch
a bus back to Sidcup. They came upon The Lamb. It seemed a friendly
place. There were one or two people standing outside talking together
and enjoying the early evening sun with their glass of beer.
The two students decided to stop and take a glass of beer. They
enjoyed it. They took another. Very soon they were joining in the banter
with the locals in the Public Bar. They asked the landlord, ‘How long
have you been here?’ ‘More than a hundred years.’ was Ernie Chillmaid’s
reply followed by much laughter. The student persisted, ‘This is really
good beer. The best beer I have tasted for a long time. How do you keep
it so?’
Ernie Chillmaid put one hand on his beer pump handle and another on
the bar and said with great authority. ‘Well I look after my cellar. I
keep the place tidy, I keep the pipes and the pumps clean and I rotate
the barrels in proper order. And there’s one last thing. In my cellar I
keep a rusty old chain. Now last thing at night when all you happy
fellows have gone home I go down into the cellar. I open the bung in
each barrel in turn. I put in my rusty old chain and give it several
twists. That’s the beer you are drinking.’
Several weeks later four students appeared in the Public Bar of The
Lamb. ‘Now what can I get for you young gents?’ Ernie Chillmaid asked.
‘We would like four pints of your rusty chain beer please landlord.
ABH 4th Jan 2013.
Simon Hingley.
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