From the https://www.kentonline.co.uk By Secret Drinker, 5 May 2023.

Secret Drinker reviews the Four Horseshoes pub at Graveney, Faversham.

Half storeroom, half crèche with the baby put to sleep on a bench at the side of the pub. And don’t even get me started on the appallingly loud foul-mouthed bird in the corner.

But does any of this matter if the locals just muck in at the Four Horseshoes in Graveney and love the pub just the way it is?

The bloke at the bar was telling anyone who’d listen his other half was off to see Elvis for her Christmas do. Forget for a moment The King died in 1977, this was the end of April so who’s planning December 25? He went on to say there was another funeral he needed to attend and he’d have to go on his motorbike.

I tried to block out all this madness, the care in the community feel to the place and its similarity to a caravan park clubhouse to concentrate on selecting a drink.

I chose to swerve lager or cider and, as there wasn’t any bitter on draught, it was really a choice between a couple of IPAs, a Hobgoblin or an Eagle. I opted for the former.

Playing to its strengths – Sunday, featuring a full carvery, must be the most popular day of the week.

It was served in a wonderfully chunky glass which slotted right into your hand and, although it proved slightly lively coming out of the tap, was a very pleasant, darker IPA.

I found a seat just beyond the play shop, but before the table where Dolly was sleeping soundly under her blanket – fortunately the stage was unoccupied, the piano lid closed and the jukebox switched off so it was fairly quiet in the party area. Or it was until the Elvis and low percentage lager fan at the bar began loudly declaring his undying love for Fridays.

It was only after several unbridled ‘Thank God it’s Friday’ exclamations I felt it necessary to point out he’d peaked early as today was Thursday.

The stage was at the far end of the room, complete with piano and jukebox, but fortunately it was quiet as Dolly had been put down for a nap.

There are a number of extra tables in the back room but the area was curtained off when I was in as it wasn’t required.

The noisy bird in the corner had already told me she’d see me later a couple of times before, much to the locals’ amusement, she turned the air blue and advised me to **** off.

To be fair there were signs warning you to steer clear of Ruby and she certainly made her presence felt when she indulged in a few sessions of prolonged squawking. As time went on I noticed she became particularly vocal each time a local left and, more often than not, would then exclaim ‘what you doing?’.

The sign on top of her cage read: “Please do not put your fingers in my cage, as I might bite you – thanks Ruby x”.

Fortunately the bird in the corner of the pub was restrained by a series of bars but it didn’t stop her from making her presence felt.

The stools at the side weren’t unoccupied by drinkers which, given the clutter, was probably a good job

Talk at the bar shifted to bin day and exactly what could, and couldn’t, be placed in the recycling bin. Glancing around I reckoned an awful lot of stuff in here needed to go so thought it best if I didn’t get involved in the discussion and took a look around instead.

Judging by the posters, the Four Horseshoe’s prides itself on hosting events – Rayoke’s Karaoke is a regular booking and even the man himself popped in to grab a bite during my visit.

Mamma Mia, the Abbagirls will be here on June 2, but it’s August 19 you need to put in your diary, whether that’s to attend Ladies Night or to avoid it like the plague. For just £20 a ticket drag Comedienne Miss Dot Com will be marshalling, and I quote, ‘four hunky male strippers’ – Dolly might not get much sleep that night.

Surely it’s too early to sign up for a New Year’s Eve event, even if it does feature Rayoke. Braver souls than me will be splashing out on £20 tickets for the drag comedienne and four hunky male strippers.

I had to pop to the gents and although it was clean and fresh there were a few disappointments – first, the hot tap didn’t work, and second, the cold tap only dribbled. There was also a notice about not flushing wet wipes but none were provided, so unless people are bringing their own I’m not sure why the warning is needed.

Chat around the bar was now about the view from the back of the pub where the landlady reckoned all she’d been able to see for weeks was a caravan and a digger.

I’m not sure what construction work has been taking place but the fact she can see a caravan is hardly surprising as the pub is surrounded by a ‘retirement community’ of mobile homes, so much so it almost feels to have been engulfed by the Four Horseshoes Park.

I’m assuming the fence at the back of the pub has been repaired recently as the landlady reckons she’s had a view of a caravan and a digger for far too long.

However, when I looked out the back the digger was almost hidden so I presume some recent fencing work has taken place, maybe to coincide with all the car park work going on at the left hand side of the pub.

Just before I departed, regulars, builder Frank and his better half popped in for a drink and a lengthy debate began about Frank’s inability to hang a set of Jan’s curtains.

Viewed in slightly rose-tinted glasses you’d say the locals are salt of the earth folk who are perfectly happy in a clubroom-like pub surrounded by a mobile home site for people of more mature years.

On the other hand, a more eagle-eyed visitor could view a motley collection of regulars with low expectations who are prepared to sit among the detritus and battle their wits with a feathered friend called Ruby.

Very neat and tidy, the gents were clean and fresh smelling.