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From The News Shopper, 12th October 2001.
BETWIXT AND BETWEEN.
IS it a pub? Or is it a club? That was the question on my mind when I
walked out of the Litten Tree after a few hastily drunk pints. Regular
readers will know I am particularly keen on making the distinction
between the disco bar and the boozer. In the past it's always been
pretty obvious. Clubs were caked in neon lights, mirrors and chrome and
sold overpriced cocktails while pubs sold murky pints of locally-brewed
ale at a pound a pint with attractions including dartboards, pool tables
and, on occasions, strippers. Clubs attracted the hip young cats with
all the smart togs, while pubs drew a crowd of belligerent old men
smoking roll-ups, most of whom could knock you out with a whiff of their
20-pints-a-night breath. Sadly, of course, those days have gone and only
a few romantic examples remain. Nowadays, many of the trendiest
nightclubs look like Middle East war zones, while numerous pubs boast
absurdly restrictive dress codes and seem to sell more Bollinger than
Budweiser on an average Saturday night. While The Litten Tree in Spital
Street, Dartford, is not perhaps an example of the height of London
chic, it most certainly isn't an example of a Ye Olde Kentish Tavern
either. Walk in to the Litten Tree, and you are immediately struck by
the vastness of the place. More akin to a small sports arena than a pub,
this place really is designed to pack 'em in. The sports theme is
carried on with a pair of miniature inflatable goals above the bar and a
pair of imposing St George Flags suggesting packed crowds here when “our
boys” take to the turf. Take a glance up to the roof and you'll see the
most elaborate skylight-effect lighting system I've seen in a venue.
There's a DJ booth and even what appears to be some sort of stage with a
ladder in the middle of the pub There's no denying it is an impressive
looking and smart venue. But is it any good? Service was good, although
I have to say I wasn't too keen to try the Litten Tree own-brand Best
Bitter which seems to be the only handpump ale available, so instead
opted for Guinness again. I took a seat at one of the tables on the far
side of the pub near another packed table of young ladies out “on the
razzle”. That kept me interested for a few minutes, before I started to
slowly realise there was actually very little in the way of an
atmosphere. Maybe the vastness of the place mixed with the fact it was a
Wednesday night might have been the reason but it never once seemed
healthily populated, despite the fact there must have been the best part
of 30 people drinking in there. Nature called, and I found myself
clambering up the grand sweeping stairs to the toilets. As I walked up,
I couldn't help but feel “on display” and exposed to everyone else in
the pub. It's a bit like announcing the fact you are going for a wee by
holding up a big sign or wearing a special shirt. When I had finished, I
came down as quickly as I could, to avoid being noticed, but promptly
tripped near the bottom just managing to keep my balance (and my
dignity) in front of the table of women. After settling in again, I was
shocked when all of a sudden at around 10pm, the lights went down and
the place seemed to turn into a nightclub without the punters. The
skylight came to life with multicoloured flashing disco lights and the
Litten Tree showed me exactly what it metamorphasises into at the
weekends. All rather unnerving for a traditional soul like me, so I
finished up and left. The Litten Tree is a smart pre-club pub definitely
aimed at the younger end of the market. |
